Below are the 3 most recent journal entries recorded in Whitney's LiveJournal:

Thursday, February 22nd, 2007
22 Feb 2007 2:19pm	White Drug She's falling, Noones there to catch her. She's lonely; the only boy who had ever grown to love her unconditionally was now gone forever. Why'd she have to do it? Why couldn't she have resisted? She promised him, and yet the first night she went out without him she was back at it. No one knows what it is, everyone says she's too pretty to be messing up her body the way she is. Maybe it's the rush of adrenaline she gets after she snorts the first line, the numbness she feels in her legs, or how she feels that the drug is the only thing that pays attention anymore. The only thing that'll numb the feeling of love or the fact that her dad wants nothing to do with her. The boy cares for her, but she wonders how much. She's the type of girl that likes to push and push in order to see how far she can go. Everyone sees someone completly diffrent. Only her close friends really know what's going on. Her first time to try it was at the High School during her lunch hour. A friend had brought it and cut out a line passing the straw around, she still has the same straw in her wallet. The same straw she still uses. The same straw that will wind up killing her. She once promised herself to never touch any kind of drug, shes still wondering every night where that girl went. It'll wind up killing her; she's following her worst fear. She's following the footsteps of her father. The man she told herself over and over again she'd never be like. The man she hates with everything in her for not being there like a real father should. The man she wished she could have gotten to know better. Now her twin. She can't help but wonder how people would really feel if she just gave up and was gone, to just vanish with no goodbye or I love you. Would anyone really even notice? She's never felt this alone. She cries herself to sleep everynight, the fear of this drug taking over her life. Which it already has. She's lost her family, her dog, her high school diploma, and the love of her life. The boy she thought she'd spend the rest of her life with. The boy she planned on marrying, all for one little high, lost it all for 20 minutes of numbness, 20 minutes of bliss, bliss she could have had a lifetime of having the boy still around. Regret, the thing she's never going to be able to live without. The thing that's going to play over and over in her head for the rest of her life. The boy, begining a new life with a new girl and a new baby, And her, alone, regretful, tired. ((7)Comment on this)
22 Feb 2007 2:19pm	& he will break her heart. She broke up with him because she cried every day fighting with him, but now she can't stop crying because he's not there to make her stop. She was in love, he fucked her over. She thought he'd be around for ever, he knew things she didn't. He knew what he was doing was wrong, but it never stopped him. He knew that he'd break her heart, but he didn't seem to mind. Just another girl on his list. The best god damn girl he's ever going to have. She gave him her heart. She gave him all the love he'd ever need, and he didn't seem to want it. What can she do? Why is she feeling this way. She can remeber the first time they ever talked. Those first couple of months they did nothing but laugh, stomach full of butterflys, now theres nothing but yelling, fighting, hurt. Stomach full of hate. She can't picture herself without him. He can't picture himself with only one girl. He promised to change, but that didn't last but a week. He did good that week too. She loved him that week. Maybe if the other girl was actually attractive she wouldn't feel as bad? No, she still hates him. Why would he do this to her? Does he honestly have no heart to keep doing this to every girl who's ever showed some kind of love and compassion? She's been warned plenty of times by his friends "Watch out for that boy baby, he's nothing but trouble." She was going to prove them all wrong. She was going to show them how they were meant to be, how he wasn't as bad as everyone said. He proved her wrong, and everyone else right. Nice going, boy. Stupid fuck. He's nothing but a coward. He'll grow up to be a lonely man, every girl will see right through him and his ways. He'll have nothing but hurt in his heart, and she'll laugh. She'll say "I told you so." and show him how much better she is without him, how much happier she is, how love really is supposed to be. She has these dreams, of showing him.. But she can't seem to let him go. "He's not worth it girl, He's not worth it at all." "You're too damn pretty to be getting hurt like this." "You're too damn nice." "This isn't like you! You've NEVER let a guy run over you like this, why do you keep going back to him?" "I love him. I love him. I love him....." I'm letting you go. I've waited long enough, You've turned my heart into stone. I can never love you the way I once did. I can never give you my trust, I can never look at you the same. Next time you decide to cheat, don't do it over Myspace. ;) I hope she's what you wanted. I hope she does for you what I didn't. I hope she gives you shyphilis... ((6)Comment on this)
22 Feb 2007 2:18pm	The word Best Friend. She hates these feelings she's getting. She hates how the word 'Best friend' means nothing to her anymore. You see, people never tend to stay around her for very long. They come and go like flys on the wall. They say their there for good, but everyone knows that a lie. She has only a few people that she can actually trust with everything in her. She wishes plans always went as they were thought up to be. She wishes people were real. He broke off their friendship because "he has a new girlfriend now, needed to get caught up on work, and he was about to be 20, besides you live an hour away..." They had been friends for a little over 2 years. Dated a couple of times, he helped her alot. She helped him. He just woke up one day and decided things just werent worth it anymore, he left her when she needed him most and he doesn't even relize it. Theres another one, you know. Another boy that she claimed was her best friend, they didn't know eachother in real life, but it seem's as if they knew eachother since they were born. He just stopped talking to her, stopped commenting, stopped calling, come to find out his new girlfriend didn't like her... He chose the girlfriend. She's still waiting for him to come back around... She has a big of a heart. He'll get mad at her when he sees this, but she want's him to know that she loves him still, and that she'll always be here waiting for him, always here to talk, always here to make fun of everyone with him. Leon. The boy she can trust with her life. Trevor, Tony, Kassie and Amber. All very close to her heart. The only people she knows will be around FOREVER. The only people she even cares to trust anymore, the only people she knows she can tell everything to. They say everything happens for a reason, and she's not sure if she believe thats anymore. Why would people spend so much time getting close to her, why would she spend so much time getting close to them, just for them to up and leave one day. Leave her behind. She understands that she once had a problem or two, but she's fixed everything since then. Everything's better, she's better. She's not sick anymore. Why would you run out on someone when you knew they need you? How could your heart just change like that? She misses them, and still hasn't let people in, but she's slowely and steadily getting over you. She hopes you're happy with what you've done. She hopes you relize what you lost, a great friend, someone to stick beside you forever, because as you can see... Theres not many of those around anymore. ((5)Comment on this)